I was told pregnant women have weird dreams, and I am definitely no exception.

The bizarre dreams started as soon as I became pregnant and they haven’t let up.

Here are a couple of the ones I remember:

  • Sting serenades me on stage (even though I am wearing two different shoes).
  • I am hanging out with Lindsay Lohan (this one is re-occurring which I find especially disturbing).
  • somehow I miss the birth of the babies (really good drugs???) and Mark won’t tell me whether we had boys or girls.
  • I have the babies… two girls and they come out talking.
  • I have a boy and a girl, but I keep forgetting where I put them (what does that mean?!?!).
  • I’m in New York trying to get theatre tickets with George Costanza, and he refuses to pay full price for the tickets so we get in a big fight and I end up only buying one ticket and going to the show by myself.
  • Don Taylor is at a dinner party I go to and there is an altercation which leads to me calling him a “dumb *ss.”
  • I go to my friend’s house for lunch and her husband insists on walking around only wearing a thong Speedo. (Deb, talk to Ryan about that!)
  • my friend Sheri gives birth the same day as me, but immediately after gets dressed in an outfit straight out of 1985 (think Melanie Griffith in Working Girl), back-combs her hair and goes back to work.
  • I am dating Gene Simmons and I have to convince his kids to like me.
  • my old dance teacher is being held hostage by a guy in California, so my ex-dancer friends and I gather a posse together and start planning how we are going to rescue her.  It is all very Charlie’s Angels-esque.

I guess I should enjoy the bizarre dreams while I can.  Apparently, you don’t get much sleep once the babies arrive.  At least, that’s what people keep telling me….