“You’re so lucky. You got it all done at once.”
“Two babies and you only had to go through one pregnancy. Lucky.”
“The perfect family in one go. So lucky.”
First of all, let me say that I AM incredibly lucky; I have two healthy, happy, wonderful children. I won’t dispute that. But in having those healthy, happy, wonderful TWINS, I have also been cheated.
Twins are wonderful. You only have to go through diapers once (although you go through twice as many). You only have to go through teething once (although there are twice as many teeth). You only have to go through the terrible two’s once (although two in the terrible two’s at once/the same time…. give me strength).
But you’re also cheated with twins. You only get one pregnancy (a bonus for some, not for me; I loved being pregnant). You only get one chance to put your hands on your tummy and feel those amazing kicks. You only get one maternity leave. You only get one first birthday party when they devour cake for the first time. You only get one Christmas when their eyes light up because they have just realized the magic of Santa. You only get one chance to pack their first lunches, put on their backpacks and walk them to their first day of kindergarten. You only get one first school play. You only get one first high school dance. You only get one high school graduation.
I only get one chance at a lot of the ‘firsts’ in their lives and that scares me. It’s already going too fast and the realization that there are already things I won’t get to do a second time around breaks my heart.
But yes, I did get an amazing family in one go. I am infinitely lucky. And I just need to remind myself, whenever I feel cheated, that I am also incredibly blessed.
And, as a friend of mine pointed out, I also have to remember that every first, for me, is twice as special.
And think about it… Only one high school graduation… which means both my babies will be going off to college at the same time… which means we’ll go from a full house to an empty nest in the blink of an eye.
So yes, I’m lucky. But I also feel a little bit cheated.
And that’s why I’m telling Lucy and Sam that they have to live at home forever. 🙂