Sometimes I’m fully aware she’s about to make an appearance. There’s a build up to her entrance. A feeling, a tension that’s tangible. It’s still jarring when she appears, but not surprising.

But other times… Those are the tough ones. She appears with very little provocation. It’s like the character in a play, who doesn’t contribute to the plot all; everyone is wondering where she came from and how she pushed her way onto the stage.

And the question we’re all too afraid to ask: When is she going to leave?

Ugly Mommy.

She’s a real b*tch.

No one likes her, especially not me. I know she is irrational and judgmental, and I can feel the fun get sucked out of the room the moment she appears.

So how do I get rid of her?  I try. I swear I do. Deep breaths. Counting to ten. Walking away. But sometimes, she manages to plow through the best defense lines I put in her path.

Ugly Mommy is relentless.

Like I said, she’s a real b*tch.

Hopefully one day, I’ll manage to get her out of the spotlight and off the stage. Maybe I’ll even get her thrown out of the whole theatre. If we’re lucky, like poor Romeo, she will be banished for good.


Picture courtesy of 5 year old Lucy. I asked her to draw a scary monster. I think the likeness is uncanny.